When I was made redundant in February I naively thought that it would be the biggest test that me and my, ever increasing, anxiety levels had faced in a long while. Little did I know that the Coronavirus would soon take such a hold that it would make finding another job feel nigh on impossible.
As three job interviews are cancelled indefinitely, a quarter of Alex’s paycheck is deferred until further notice, and the deadline of my last payday in April grows ever closer, I’m not going to lie and pretend I’ve been upbeat!
What I will say, though, is that my mindset is slowly shifting.
Testing times are ahead for all of us, that’s for sure, but during this downtime, I am definitely learning how to embrace things for how they actually are and lessen my incessant need for control.
An amazing thing happens when everything that you feel could’ve gone wrong does go wrong. You start to realise that your husband is right when he says everything will be fine. For the first time, I really believe it because it simply has to be true.
When there’s so much to worry about, you quickly realise there’s little point in worrying at all.
There’s nothing else to do but hold out hope for what comes next.
For the first time in what feels like forever, I truly have nothing to do – absolutely nothing at all. And, I’m beginning to see that this is time that should be treasured because this isn’t something I’m likely to experience again. I must start embracing it for the wonderful thing that it is instead of wishing things were different.
I wake up every day next to my wonderful husband who never fails to make me laugh. I’m getting to spend more time with my Mum than I have in a long time and I’m typing this as I sit in my garden with the sunshine on my back. I have so much to be grateful for and as people around the world are sadly losing loved ones to the virus, we must remember to treasure the little things now more than ever.
Things will get better because they simply have to, but until then, embrace the stillness, embrace the calm, and make sure you’re reaching out to those close to you – for your sake as much as theirs.