As I’ve said before, I’m an avid reader of self help books and judgement is a topic that features in most of them. Authors explain that you must look inside when you’re judging yourself or someone else because it’s often indicative of something deeper going on.
This concept has never resonated with me more than when I started to drive a pink car. I bought it because it was cheap, not because it was pink – something I explain to people every chance I get, which is rather telling in itself.
I wouldn’t say I’m the most confident of drivers, especially when it comes to parking, and when I began driving a car that made it ridiculously obvious that a ‘woman driver’ was at the wheel, all manner of fears arose. I was scared of how I would be perceived because I personally had so much judgement towards people who drive pinks cars…
In the beginning, I would read into the behaviour of other drivers towards me on the road and feel like I was doing something wrong. Now, I think it’s hilarious when a man thinks he’ll be able to cut in front of me at the next junction because I know I’ll make a speedy getting away from the traffic lights we’re at.
My attitude has shifted and I’m less judgmental towards myself, and time has been a factor in that. There was no escaping the judgment I felt around this because I drive my car every day. I couldn’t avoid it and instead had to deal with the judgment I was experiencing.
I soon realised that the fact it was pink wasn’t the problem; the problem was that the colour of the car was louder and more attention-grabbing than I was comfortable with. As someone who usually prefers to fly under the radar, driving such a noticeable car didn’t sit right with who I felt I was as a person.
If I hadn’t been forced to confront this, I don’t think I’d have ever reached this conclusion. With this in mind, I think it’s really important to spend some time noticing our judgements and getting to the root of what’s causing them.
When you last judged yourself or someone else, what really triggered it?
We all judge one another constantly and we’re unlikely to ever be free of it, but what we can do is become more mindful of when judgment occurs and stop it taking such a hold. Whether you’re judging yourself or judging someone else, remember that a little compassion can go a long way.